Hello Reader,

Within a denominational mindset I would interpret scripture (read and understand) as the founders of my denomination laid out in their sermons and teaching. In this way I believed I was being a good Christian. What was really happening was that I was being a good United Methodist Believer in Christ as understood by Wesley and all those who followed him. I look now at where the United Methodist church is and I am quite sad regarding its division, however I am very glad to not be in covenant with that denomination anymore. 
 

Yes, “Covenant”. What do I mean? That word has been hijacked a little in our culture. We either mean a “marriage covenant” or we mean some cultic restrictions of some kind. Neither is what I am talking about here.

 
A covenant is an agreement of a sort, but more.

 
A covenant with someone or something invokes loyalty, responsibility, and commitment. As Believers we are in covenant with Christ. Our obedience to Him is our part. His part is that He keeps His promises as laid out for us in Scripture. Hint: It involves much more that a “ticket to heaven.” In Him we are one body, His body on the earth with a mandate to take care of the earth and administrate or "steward" His resources and disciple the nations. 
 

This is what every believer is to do. It was laid out for us with Adam in Genesis 2 and with Abraham and with Israel. It has always been the mandate of the Church and has never changed. 
 

However, when I was within the denominational system, I found myself loyal to that denomination regarding what I believed and taught. I was loyal to that denomination in attendance and participation. I went to workshops and seminars to do all I could to help it grow and spread the Gospel of Jesus as the Methodists understood it. I was loyal and committed to upholding the United Methodist Understanding of Scripture as I was taught. If there were things I did not understand or inconsistencies in the teachings, then it was my fault because I simply didn't "understand" and I obviously needed to learn more. I was blessed to have "authority" over me to which I could turn for the United Methodist Understanding.

 
These are the Lenses of Denominational Thinking that I am referring to. It’s never a conscious thing. But if you look for it, you can see it clearly.

 
When I stepped out of the United Methodist church the first thing I felt was a great relief. There was a severing, of a sort, from NEEDING to maintain that loyalty and commitment. Then I felt guilty for feeling so free and unburdened.

"You are just Lazy." "How could you betray the UMC and all your friends?" And people were offended as well as confused. We were on our way to leadership, according to the career projections of how others saw us. We also looked quite foolish to give up a guaranteed salary, house, utilities, always a place to serve, vacation, continuing education, insurances and so on…Severing the ties with the denomination (breaking the covenant) was more than just “quitting,” it was giving up quite a few guarantees---the denomination’s part of the covenant. “You serve us with loyalty and fulfill your financial and professional obligations, and we will give you all this stuff….”

 
Don't worry, I got over that quickly as the lenses fell away and I allowed Holy Spirit to begin teaching me without my holding Him to the plum line of Methodism. I took in everything. I considered other teachers and preachers. I asked questions regardless of whether I was afraid of the answer or even if I didn't believe there was an answer. 
 

Were the "sons of God in Genesis 6 really fallen angels? Were the giants spoken of the offspring of Angels and men?" What about Revelation? Was there a rapture?" " Are we in the end times?" " What is a soul?" "How is it different from our heart?" "Do we always have a spirit, or do we get it at conversion?" "What does it mean to be converted?" "What really happens at Baptism? Is it just symbolic?" 
 

And so on...you get the picture.

 
I knew what I had been taught (I went to Seminary). But I wanted to KNOW for myself. And it was hard! The teachings of years and years had created some very deep ruts in my understanding that just didn’t simply “go away.” I kept finding myself falling back into a pattern of thinking that only led to dead ends.

Here is an example of what I mean:

 “I’m a sinner saved by grace” I hear that all the time. People try not to be arrogant as they point out what someone else is doing wrong.

 “I WAS a sinner, and I am saved by GRACE” is the proper way to think of this.

YOU ARE BEING ARRAGONT! YOU ARE A SINNER! EVERYONE DOES SINFUL THINGS! ARE YOU SAYING YOU ARE PERFECT?! EVEN PAUL SAID HE HAD A HARD TIME DOING THE RIGHT THING (ROMANS7!)!

YIKES! Can you see the bible hitting me over the head repeatedly? That was what went through my mind just when I asked the question. Talk about a “rut in my thinking!”

Here is what I learned once I let go of my previous understanding and ignored the condemnation since in Christ there is no condemnation, so it isn’t from Christ, correct? Anyway:

First, understand that Paul is making a case in Romans, and you have to read the WHOLE THING, not just the parts that fit a narrative you prefer. Sorry to be so direct. But it’s true.

Second, to identify myself as a “sinner” than either:

1)     I and my sin are more powerful than Jesus’ ability to cleanse me of sin (and that’s NOT arrogant?)

OR

2)     Jesus is a sinner too because He says He is a part of every believer.

OR

3)     Jesus did not complete the job he was sent to do

OR

4)      Jesus lied when He said He’d send the helper to come and teach us because He doesn’t help us to not sin.

OR

5)     Paul lied when he said that God completes the work, he begins in us.

Since none of these things are true, then there is faulty thinking in identifying myself as a “sinner.”

Do we make mistakes? Sure. But they aren’t life sentences (normally). We can repent, apologize, correct them if possible and make better choices. We are not, however, in a sinful state as we were before conversion when Jesus took all that stuff away and made us into a new creation so we could be a functional part of the Body of Christ on the earth, a citizen of the Kingdom doing the work of the Kingdom. The point is we progress toward reflecting the Character of Christ upon the earth with purpose and destiny. A “sinner” can’t do that. As new creation, made righteous in Him (Romans 8) I couldn't play victim to my impulses anymore. The Law of Spirit Life was now in play in my life.

These are uncomfortable things to think about. They were for me. If we say we are NOT a sinner, then we have to take responsibility for our mistakes and don’t do them anymore.

These are the types of questions I confronted (and still confront).  In doing so, I prayed A LOT and searched and made maps on paper to trace the arguments of Paul (YES, maps are helpful!). I made timelines of events to trace the lives of the patriarchs .... All very academic, but it was what I knew.
 
Then I got baptized. Really Baptized as in, under the water, you can't breathe, immersed. Words were said, prayers were prayed, and I believed...really believed. I wasn't just going through some symbolic ritual and "getting wet." I remember jumping up and down a little afterward just to let out a little of the Spirit that seemed to be tickling all up and down my spine. 
 

From that moment on, I was being realigned. Put into order. And the first thing that fell away was fear and anxiety over unanswered questions. And part of what filled me was the assurance that God had all the answers, and I could just simply ask until I got an answer. 
 

While I do not regret my seminary training or my degree nor my time in denomination, I still do feel that if I'd known then what I know now, I would probably have made different decisions.

 
All in all, I didn't really need a seminary degree, commentaries etc, (though history is helpful in understanding the context of scripture).
 

Holy Spirit is a wonderful teacher, but if I limited my learning to just me and what Holy Spirit was teaching me, I would miss out on the bigger picture. We weren't made for that all the time. Our brains are just a bit limited when it comes to perspective. God chose us to be in community for this reason. If that were not so, He would have stopped with Adam and never created Eve.

 
"It is not good for Man (humanity) to be alone"
 

And here is my point (finally): When I left denomination and invested my life into Life as a Citizen of the Kingdom of God, dots began to connect between the old and new testaments regarding events and what the prophets said and what Jesus said and taught. The dots also connected FINALLY regarding what Paul and the Apostles were saying to the churches. And even REVELATION finally made sense as it crowned it all into ONE MESSAGE about Christ, not a divided bunch of books with different messages! When I threw out the old popular, denominational thinking and considered the context, new revelations, and things I had previously dismissed were brought together all pointing to Christ, who He is and what He’s done, who we are in Him with purpose and destiny.

Finally, and this is probably the biggest change for me personally, and I’ll end with this. When I stopped going to Sunday service or a bible study seeking a “group therapy” moment to edify myself for the coming week, my focus shifted from ME and Jesus to Christ and His Church. And with THAT shift, my anxious need for assurance, significance, and validation from other people simply fell away. There is just no foothold in my mind for them anymore. They were all replaced by an accurate Christology, an empowering Eschatology wrapped in a Theology that did not have to change with the wind of another question asked.

God can handle the questions.

Blessings, Reader.

Thanks for staying with me through this long post!

Have a wonderful day, may your eyes and ears be open to the Truth and the assurance of His Grace. May you have the courage to ask the questions you avoid with the expectation of His answer, that is Christ.

Anne